It is January. The cheer of the holidays is gone, and for those inhabiting the Northern hemisphere, the weeks of winter stretch out bleakly before us. Spring seems like it will never come, and if you’re like me, you catch yourself turning the pages of the calendar to take a peek at April and pretend for just a moment that one such warm and friendly month is already upon us.
It isn’t, of course. As I mentioned, it is January, and if you have a puppy-themed calendar like I do, the featured photo for this month is not the cute little terrier puppy in a basket of spring daisies, it’s a Dalmatian puppy with his paw on a snowball. However, let’s not let these puppies depress us. Even if you are not in possession of a nice, warm indoor riding arena, and even if your daily ride doesn’t consist of showing off your tan while bareback riding along a warm Caribbean beach at sunset, there are ways to enjoy the winter months while we all wait around for spring to come. There are many scientifically proven methods for doing this, and when I say “scientifically proven” I mean they work for me.
First, outfit yourself in all the finest winter clothing. Make sure to layer it a great deal, such as by wearing long underwear, leggings, snow pants, two sweaters, a jacket, a heavy coat, and a wide array of scarves, gloves, and hats when you venture out to the barn to feed the horses. Be prepared to remove much of this clothing almost immediately after putting it on because you suddenly have an urgent need to go to the bathroom. This is nature’s way of seeing if you have a sense of humor.
Another great method is called “complete denial.” This method requires that you suspend reality, so it is not recommended for anyone who cannot conduct simple, run-of-the-mill self-hypnosis. What? You can’t even do that? Well, fine then. Let’s move on.
Next, I recommend you ingratiate yourself with anyone you know who may be in possession of an indoor riding arena. This may require that you bake cookies for them, clean their tack, or if you’re desperate enough, offer to babysit their children (not recommended by the author). The degree of your desperation to ride in their indoor will determine how generous you feel ready to be toward this arena owner. By the way, if you’re reading this and you already possess your own indoor arena, please get in touch with me, because I think we’d be good friends and we should get together sometime soon for a ride. I’ll bring cookies.
Lastly, if none of these methods have worked for you, I can only recommend one thing: buy a puppy calendar. No, seriously, these things are great.